Bro 1 "Hey bro, you goin' out tonight?"
Bro 2 "Yea man, Sara is supposed to be having a kick-ass party tonight. I think we're goin over to Tweeder's to do a little pregaming. You wanna come with?"
Bro 1 “Oh fo sho. Jess and a few of her girl friends wanted to chill with us tonight I think, I’ll shoot her a text and see if she’s DTP.”
Bro 2 “Yea and if you get lucky she’ll be DTF by the end of the night.”
Bro 1 “Oh snap!”
**High-fives ensue as the bro’s head out the door to get some grubbage**
9:01 PM – 9:45 PM
Bro 2 “What are we drinkin tonight broseph?”
Bro 1 “I was thinking we’d pick up a case of Bud Light, and a case of Michelob for the ladies”
Bro 2 “Yea especially if Jess’ fatass friend Allison comes with her, know what I’m sayin?!”
Bro 1“Haha defs dude, but I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that one. I told Jess she’d better not bring that whale over or else I’d turkey-slap a hoe.”
Bro 2 “Oh, damn! You’re such a badass man!”
**Bro 1 and 2 chest-bump on their way into Albertsons Grocery**
9:46 PM – 10:50 PM
Bro 2 “You heard from the chicks yet bra?”
Bro 1 “Na dude, I’ve texted them a few times but they’re not answering. They’re probably just puttin on make-up and shit, you know how girls are.”
Bro 2 “Yea I know man, but it’s starting to get late. Maybe we should just head over to Tweed’s and tell them to meet up?”
Bro 1 “Well I texted him too, and he said they’re just gonna head out to Sara’s about 30 minutes ago…”
Bro 2 “Gotcha. Well, it looks like we’re pregaming on our own my friend. Toss me another brew, I’m already starting to feel a little buzzed anyways.”
Bro 1 “Agreed my main-man. Hey look out for the sniper over in that building.”
**Bro 2 escapes the sniper’s line of fire, Bro 1 congratulates him with a shoulder massage**
10:51 PM – 11:15 PM
Bro 1 “ Alright man you ready to head out?”
Bro 2 “ Yea lemme just put a little more cologne on and grab a few roadies.”
Bro1 “Oh yea, grab me some too if you don’t mind holmes.”
Bro 2 “ I gotcha bud. You good to drive? I think I may be drunk already dude.”
Bro 1 “Yea I’m good, toss me your keys.”
Bro 2 “Lebron, driving the lane…he shoots he scores!”
Bro 1 “Haha! Oh man, you are so hilarious. Let’s roll!”
**The Bros wrap their arms around each-other’s shoulders and head to the car**
11:16 PM – 12:30 AM
Bro 2 “Dude this party is pretty sick.”
Bro 1” Yea did you see what Sara’s friend Kristi was wearing? I would do unforgivable things to get a piece of that.”
Bro 2 “For sure bro-dy. I’ve got my eye on that one chick from our Philosophy class, you KNOW she’s gotta be a freak in the bed.”
Bro 1 “No way man, I wont let you do that. Girl’s a h.o.e. fo show. There’s no telling what all she’s got, because there’s no way she’s clean. I heard she got with Ryan Thompson one night dude, so she’s gotta be sloppy.”
Bro 2 “Fuckin’ Ryan Thompson, are you kiddin me? Damn man, I guess I’m stuck with your sorry ass tonight then.”
Bro 1 “Psh yea, except I’ll be too busy bangin the bejesus outta Kristi later.”
Bro 2 “Yea right, you wont even talk to her you pussy!”
Bro 1 “ Alright then bitch, watch me!”
**Bro 1 goes over to Kristi and her group of friends. Later, Bro 2 has to pull him out of a fight. Apparently Kristi is dating the football teams starting Middle Linebacker**
12:31 AM – 3:00 AM
Bro 2 “You alright man? You kinda got the shit kicked out of you back there…”
Bro 1 “Shut up douchebag, I coulda kicked his ass if he wouldn’t have suckerpunched me in the back of the head.”
Bro 2 “Dude, he broke your nose and gave you two black eyes…”
Bro 1 “Whatevs, nothing more beer can’t fix. We still got those Ultras back at the pad?”
Bro 2 “Shit yea we do. Let’s get wasted!”
Bro 1 “Fuckin’ wasted!!!”
**The bros delicately embrace one another as they drive thru Jack In The Box and grab a few $1 tacos. The two will spend the rest of the night playing video games and getting drunk, by themselves, in their apartment…because that’s all they need, is each others friendship. THE END.**
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